Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
