Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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