he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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