Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
