i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She told me I should be a condom model.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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