I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
