And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times