I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
