bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The best revenge is premature balding
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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