Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face

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  (617): yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face http://tfl.nu/3atc
  Replies (7) Good night (1942) Bad night (762)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???

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  (404): I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone??? http://tfl.nu/6a5o
  Replies (30) Good night (1000) Bad night (4647)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  My brain says no but my pants say off.

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  (902): My brain says no but my pants say off. http://tfl.nu/syce
  Replies (7) Good night (5159) Bad night (785)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I need new friends

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  (508): Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag (508): I need new friends http://tfl.nu/z8hc
  Replies (83) Good night (1078) Bad night (7804)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!

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  (276): So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job! http://tfl.nu/fkyk
  Replies (11) Good night (3854) Bad night (932)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.

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  (240): I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it. http://tfl.nu/okvp
  Replies (4) Good night (4575) Bad night (1045)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?

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  (325): just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish? http://tfl.nu/2ysn
  Replies (26) Good night (4014) Bad night (953)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.

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  (508): He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me. http://tfl.nu/9xpz
  Replies (21) Good night (1002) Bad night (3045)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.

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  (201): Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them. http://tfl.nu/ciek
  Replies (20) Good night (3167) Bad night (997)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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  (905): Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up. http://tfl.nu/c9v7
  Replies (9) Good night (826) Bad night (3173)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.

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  (563): WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE. http://tfl.nu/f0cz
  Replies (9) Good night (1386) Bad night (940)
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  (310): View more from California

  That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch

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  (310): That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch http://tfl.nu/7p4s
  Replies (2) Good night (2459) Bad night (522)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.

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  (850): It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant. http://tfl.nu/v68q
  Replies (6) Good night (567) Bad night (1228)
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  (650): View more from California

  I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah

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  (650): I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah http://tfl.nu/mkjf
  Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (250)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.

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  (815): You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother. http://tfl.nu/agj9
  Replies (8) Good night (204) Bad night (863)

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