Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
