I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dating After Heartbreak
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.