nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.