Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
