She announced her abortion via fbk
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
