You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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