I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
