How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
