I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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