Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
