a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
When did angry sex become our thing?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
