I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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