please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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