I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
