Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
