There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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