"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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