I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
