So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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