you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
