covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
