you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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