what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
