i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
