took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
