just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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