I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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