So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
