Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
