he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize