we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
