i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
