I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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