So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
