you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
