I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
