I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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