...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
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You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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