Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
