Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
