Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
