i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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