If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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