my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
