Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
