I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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