The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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