420 ftw
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Someone shattered a urinal.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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