I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
