I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
