Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
