Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
