Whatcha textin bout Willis?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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