Where is the hickey?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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