I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How external is "for external use only"?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
