More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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