I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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